It is a myth - You don't need willpower or confidence to succeed!
This weekend marked the halfway point of the F45 challenge and it was time to see if the plan was taking me towards or away from my goals.
So what has been happening - I have been able to maintain 5 days training a week, with a run on the weekends in addition to eating 3 healthy meals a day with 2 snacks in-between. Mindful pausing has helped each day to ensure that the balance of my plan and the unpredictable aspects of life remained in balance.
In 4 weeks, I can now do 28 push ups on my toes, comfortably run 3 km, have decreased 3% body fat and have lost 5.3kgs. I was happy with the numbers, but equally happy with my persistence, commitment and renewed energy that I have each day. I feel like myself again 😊
So was it willpower or confidence that kept me on track? Nope – I don’t believe in either. Willpower is just a moment of motivation and confidence comes after you succeed, not before.
In any success, there are fluctuating moods and levels of motivation, ongoing obstacles and intrusive thoughts tempting us to change direction and give in to immediate gratification. Success is about being able to ride these waves and continue with the plan. Self doubt is normal when you haven’t been somewhere before.
Here are my tips on how to maintain your plan and succeed without relying on willpower or confidence.
1.Good Planning
The current plan was set on a decision to prioritise my training and health in 2019. It would not have fit into my schedule last year, nor would it have fit into my schedule when before my children started school. You need to find what works for you by mindfully acknowledging honestly what has worked, and not worked in the past. Be honest with yourself. Smaller steps still lead you in the same direction – just takes a little longer. That’s ok.
2. Defusion from thoughts and feelings
Defusion is a skill where we are able to notice our present moment sensations, thoughts and feelings but create enough space as not to be lead by them. I have experienced thoughts of; I don’t want to train, I am tired I should have the night off, I cant be bothered today, this isn’t working, I need to stay up and get through all my work etc. I have also had feelings of being unmotivated, disinterested in training, doubtful of my decisions and craving coffee and a beer and parmigiana date with my husband.
Each time when I notice these, I acknowledge them as a human reaction – and then move my attention back to the plan. Delayed gratification is the ability to not get what you want in the moment, for the benefit of a longer term goal. Defusion also allows us to avoid making decisions in the heat of the moment – delaying it to a more reflective time. Self control is the ability to act when you are NOT in an elevated state.
3. Support Team
“Team work divides the tasks and multiples the success”
Thank you to the wonderful people who have decided to take a mindful minute to support and encourage my decision to share my journey with the wider community. I consciously surround myself with people who inspire and find ways to problem solve rather than complain and blame.
My husband has been a wonderful support (thank you!) and I can hear my girls cheering me on when I am in a 40 second squat and in a world of pain. My friends, work colleagues and even strangers are a constant motivator – to see people open to learning and growing inspires me to be my best. We are born to grow - to reach our potential. Choose to be kind and cheer for others success.
4. Let the pain in
Humans are conditioned to avoid pain, if you touch a flame, your brain and your body will avoid it next time around. But we need pain to grow. I use defusion to let the pain in – I move my attention from the pain to the vision of me being stronger, and healthier and being the example for my girls to aspire too. Knowing the difference between good pain and bad pain is essential.
5. Mindful connection to my why
If you don’t know your WHY before you start – the avalanche of thoughts, self doubts, pain and temptations will bowl you over EVERY TIME! 2-3 times a day, I stop to remember, to bring to the front of my mind WHY I started this challenge in the first place. Motivation is fleeting – mindfulness keeps the flame of your dreams alive and allows for productive minute by minute choices that move you towards your goals.
Stay tuned for the next 4 weeks where I plan to increase my weights and build strength. More strength equals physical resilience to confront the physical and mental challenges we face in life.
If you or a loved one needs any support to improve or develop these skills or process some of life’s challenges, please do not hesitate to contact us to chat further. Whatever you do, keep growing and keep learning.