Maintaining Boundaries

Setting boundaries

Maintaining strong connected relationships with family and friends is important for our overall well-being, but sometimes we may need to establish boundaries with those who have a tendency to overstep. Insisting on contact by incessant phone calls or text messages, oversharing personal information or invading your privacy are all examples of boundary violations. It can be a challenging task to manage, but setting boundaries is essential for our mental health and emotional well-being. Here are some tips on how to set and keep boundaries with family and friends:

Identify the issue

The first step to establishing healthy boundaries is to identify the problem. What behaviours or actions from your family or friends are causing you discomfort? Is it their constant criticism, their lack of respect for your privacy, or their tendency to be overly controlling? Once you have identified the issue, you can start thinking about how to address it.

Communicate clearly

Communication is key when it comes to setting boundaries. You need to be clear and direct in communicating your needs and expectations. Be assertive and firm but also respectful. It can be helpful to use "I" statements to express your feelings, such as "I feel uncomfortable when you talk to me that way." Avoid making accusations or blaming the other person.

Be consistent

Consistency is crucial when it comes to maintaining boundaries. Stick to your boundaries even when the other person tries to push back. Don't give in to guilt trips or manipulation tactics. If the other person continues to violate your boundaries, you may need to limit your contact with them or even cut ties altogether. If the person shows a real commitment to respecting your boundaries, be ready to re-engage on your own terms.

Take care of yourself

Establishing boundaries can be emotionally draining, so it's essential to take care of yourself. Set aside time for self-care activities like exercise, meditation, or spending time with supportive friends. Remember that it's okay to prioritize your own needs and well-being.

Seek support

If you're struggling to establish boundaries, consider seeking support from a mental health professional. All the practitioners at TMC can help you identify healthy boundaries and provide you with strategies for maintaining them. You may also find support from friends or family members who are respectful of your boundaries.

Maintaining healthy boundaries with family and friends who have trouble respecting them can be challenging, but it's essential for our emotional well-being. Identify the problem, communicate clearly, be consistent, take care of yourself, and seek support if needed. Remember, it's okay to prioritise your own needs and well-being.