How we talk to ourselves matters

We all hold certain beliefs and perceptions of who we are, which can be either negative or positive. These certain beliefs and ideas that we hold are influenced by our upbringing, past experiences, culture and relationships. The way we see ourselves can also be heavily influenced by the way we talk to ourselves, which can also impact on how we think, feel and behave.

 Let’s reflect back on a situation where you notice yourself engaging in negative self-talk. Negative self-talk can include unhelpful beliefs and perceptions of ourselves. Did your negative self- talk increase your anxiety or even make you feel embarrassed, worthless, lazy or even useless?.

One way to change the way we talk to ourselves is to relabel or challenge your negative self-talk, in turn replacing with positive self-talk.

Imagine that you constantly label yourself as incompetent or stupid after making a mistake, how will this make you feel or behave?. Instead, if we tell ourselves that it is ok and we are just learning, how does that make you feel now?. The example shows that although the situation has not changed, the way we talk to ourselves matter as this will impact on how we think, feel and behave. 

Being mindful of the way we talk to ourselves is important, next time you catch yourself engaging in negative self-talk try to relabel or challenge this.  You can also write this down which will help you practice self-compassion and kindness towards yourself.